46/50: Orientation and Identity
This song explores the joy of a wide welcome.
“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”
For awhile, I was part of a denomination that said it “majored on the majors and minored on the minors.” A beautiful sentiment that I appreciated until I realized it is an act of privilege to determine what is major and what is minor. It’s easy for things like gender or race to be minor if you are in a place of privilege in those “issues.” However, if like me, you feel a call to preach as a woman, these things are no longer minor. And in fact, it is disempowering to be in spaces where it’s an option. Which is why I moved on from that denomination.
It was this experience that compelled me to wrestle with how I was going to view sexual orientation and identity. There were some big assumptions and stereotypes to overcome as I began to think about this more critically about 15 years ago.
The first was my assumption that gay people were sexually promiscuous. I wanted to protect the sacredness of sex. But sexual promiscuity is not a gay/straight issue. And when I could separate those, I took the next step.
The second was the high value I place on committed love. The dear and now passed Jack Rogers, who advocated for gay rights within the Presbyterian church for years, helped me with this one when he told me, “I’m for committed marriage. That’s why I support gay marriage.”
The next step was determining what the Bible says. From my reading and study, I felt there were valid arguments on either side, depending on how you read Scripture. While I now read with a more evolutionary and conversational hermeneutic, I wasn’t so clear on my hermeneutics at that time. But, it didn’t seem to be of big concern to Jesus or any of the biblical writers. Science, experience and the law of love led me to conclude that a full embrace was the most faithful stance.
And lastly, there’s just the plain getting used to it. Here again, I appeal to my experience as a woman preacher. Some people just don’t like seeing a woman in the pulpit. While this stings a bit, I know that it is something that people have to get used to after only seeing men in the pulpit. Sometimes we confuse our own comfort level for theological correctness.
On the other side of this intellectual exercise has been some of the most beautiful experiences of community and moments where I have felt Jesus most present. Fully embracing those who have not been able to bring their full selves to church is healing for all of us. It is like finding members of your family that you didn’t know you were missing but without whom your family wasn’t complete.