48/50: Reading and Writing
Amazing song from a great movie that felt like the view from inside my Enneagram 4 dreamy head that is my best writing room.
“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”
This project of 50 posts before 50 has taught me that I can write just for the love of it. With no expectation of publishing or an audience or success, I have found sustenance and joy in this daily practice.
It shouldn’t be a surprise. I have always been happiest when writing and reading. It’s what I did as a child in my spare time. Reading grounds me. Writing is how I learn what I already know.
I find it hard to be a writer in the digital frenzy of words. I’m not ready to make same day comments on today’s headlines. My best ideas brew in my head for years and become clear on their own clock. My favorite writers are the ones who write from well-worn paths and slow wisdom. I don’t like to spend a lot of time on social media and am suspicious of sound bites.
I also have found that writing takes setting boundaries around time and attention that I haven’t always been willing or able to give. Pastoring, parenting, marriage, friendship — all of that take a lot of attention and I have high expectations for what is required of me. I already feel as if I’m not giving these things enough attention. It’s hard to take even more time to write and read — two things that are quiet and hold no guarantees of outward success.
However, as I definitively turn into the second half of life, I find it is not productivity, but joy that gets me further down the road of what I really want. This is not following my bliss in selfish disregard. This is trusting my soul to tell me where my deep happiness meets the world’s need, as Frederick Buechner once said. It is trusting God shows up through me to bless the world when I live from my soul.
These 50 posts have given me a chance to explore that and I’m so grateful for those who have read a few of them. It has been a gift to me to lay out the way I see the world and especially my faith with no expectation, just a hope that it will serve those who need to take the next step in their own journey.